Joan

She's my best friend. She just had her interview at the US Embassy today, and they're all set to go anytime soon. Everything's starting to sink in, but let me back up a few years ago...

Initially, I was just qualified to study in my dream university, but not under the program I signed up for. I signed on some other programs to get waitlisted, but sadly, they cut it short. So I didn't get in. The following day, I enrolled in another university after taking the entrance exam earlier on that same day. Weird, I know. But it had its perks.

So there I was, 15 years old on the first day of college. Believe it or not, my mother was with me when I was looking for my first classroom. Then a girl approached me. It turned out, we had the exact same schedule. She was with this other girl, Jennette, who turned out to be one of my bestest friends in the university, too.

I don't know it happened, but we clicked. Instantly. Honestly, I don't know. It just... happened. So you see, I didn't really have a good time when I was in high school. I was very insecure, and I didn't have that much friends. So this college thing was all very new to me. I became friends with everybody. Our section really bonded. Which was totally great for me. It's the one thing I wouldn't forget despite transferring to my dream university a year later.

I knew we would be the greatest of friends, because believe it or not, on the second day of college, she had already went to my house. Yes. It turned out, my cousin was her classmate/batch mate in high school. And another cousin of mine was her ex-boyfriend. How weird and small the world is, I know.

If I'm ever to describe her... the perfect word would be brave. Fortitudinous, even. Even though I know she would immediately refute that idea. She is brave, she just doesn't know it. I guess we all are something that we don't know of.

When I was in high school, I was very troubled. Emotionally. And I never let myself need anybody ever. But that's a different story. I never opened up to people. But with her, it was very easy. She was the first person I ever let to break through the wall that I give everybody else, she is the only person. I have a very dysfunctional family, and she was the only person I could talk to about that. And God knows how huge of a relief that was for me. I never had that kind of person in my life. Until her.

If there's one thing I learned from her, it's the confidence that I have now. The one thing I never had until I went to college. I don't know if she knows that, but it's true. She is almost two years older than me, and I guess maturity really comes with age. She is always the matured one between the two of us. Unknowingly, she helped me realize that every petty thing in high school was just merely bs, that it's not the reality in college, and that I will be just fine.

I hope in some ways she had learn things from me, too. I've been there for her since Day 1. Her first crush in the university, her first boyfriend in the university, her heartbreaks, her drunk confessions, her family problems, her craziness, and even just the simple things that we love to bitch about. I've always been by her side. I've witnessed her grow. I've witnessed her with boyfriends. I've witnessed her with girlfriends. I've witnessed her freak out when she was starting to doubt her preferences. There are times that I want to strangle and smother her for her craziness, but I just end up tolerating it, because I love her so much. And also because we're both crazy. We always do things outside school. We do sleepovers and stuff. She's practically my sister. A sister from another mother.

A year after entering the university, I got decent grades and decided to transfer to my dream university. I applied for the program I initially signed up for. I got in. And the hardest part of leaving the university was leaving my friends. The second family I had always longed for. The coolest family a person could ever have - friends. It was tough.

I never had that kind of friend in my dream university. The kind that I can hangout with outside school. My dream university is pretty diverse. Upon entering my dream univ, I wasn't able to hangout with her as much as before. And it killed me. We see each other like once a month. Twice, if we're lucky. It killed me. And I don't know if she knows that. But the greatest thing is we never drifted apart. We're still tight as ever. We might have made friends outside our circle, but we see to it that we never lose touch. We meet at the mall on some weekends even though we don't have enough money. We just meet and talk. And I appreciate her doing that.

This migrating-to-the-united-states thing of hers has been going on for years, but it was just recently confirmed. And I guess this blog post is a product of a freak-out that I'm having. Well, there's always Facebook and e-mail, but... it's gonna be a hell lot of different without her on my reach. And after everything that she's done and every person that she's been for me, it's gonna be a long and dreadful 5 years.

She's having a farewell party soon. How is farewell a party?

When she leaves, the next time we meet, I hope it's me visiting her in Virginia or wherever she is in the United States at that time. Or maybe... she could pick me up at LAX or JFK... and let me stay with her for a few days before I look for an apartment in whichever city I decide to work at. Dreamy.

Holy hell. How does one survive without a best friend(physically)?

Actually, she's not just my best friend. She's my family.

Okay, now I'm gonna go. And cry. Hehe.